Currently we’re in the pit of a dormant volcano on an uninhabited island north of Velas. I’m sorry about that little stunt earlier, but everyone is fine and I’ll contact search and rescue as soon as our task is accomplished. The Captain had cracked another Jeroboam and no one noticed when we slunk off towards the cave. We had Sake and Maguro, plenty of Jamón and at least two trained bartenders so we would be fine for a week or so. Why we fell in slow motion and hit the ground uninjured I’ll never understand, but there we were, passengers and crew all toasting our otherworldly luck. I grabbed an Oloroso and some tinned clams then headed back to my cabin pretty sure that we were headed to the Azores. We left Labrador and headed south.The pilot said we would be landing in about four hours, that the sauna would be closing an hour before that, and last call at the tapas bar was in 90 minutes. He said his name was Nels, he was a retired Magician from Gibraltar, he would not reveal our destination and that he was heading for the Sauna.īefore takeoff, our pilot announced that we would be landing in Canada to refuel, if anyone on board was wanted in Canada they should turn on the blue light above their cabin door and remain on the plane during our layover.The rest of us could limo into town, grab a pint and look for polar bears. I wasn’t the first on board, my plans were foiled. Try the Akamutsu and the trumpet fish, also I can highly recommend the ‘Dreams Come True’ excellent mouth feel. Waiting for the maestro to arrive at the Kan, I perused the sake list when someone behind me spoke. I checked in and boarded the jet looking forward to a massage, some sushi and a nap before takeoff. The name means earthquake and after two you will walk like you’re in 5.5. For the uninitiated, it is traditionally made with Pineapple Whip, Grenadine and Pipeño, a fermented wine, although I know a place that uses Fernet instead of the sweet red syrup. We would fly to Santiago, refuel and spend the night drinking Terremotos. I decided to arrive six hours before takeoff with the idea of flying everybody to Pitcairn Island to meet the descendants of the Bounty mutiny. A week later I got a notification, there was a flight leaving from John Wayne Airport down in Orange County in two days. It was a startup PJ Company with a twist they would announce a departure city, date and time and the first member to show up could pick the destination. Nels touched down with a handful of coupes and began pouring champagne for everybody.Ī while ago I wrangled a one-month membership to BlissAir. As we were drifting towards the ground I reached out and found my backpack, pulled out my MacBook and began Googling ‘How to survive a plane crash,’ but realized we were descending so slowly there was nothing to fear except boredom. The plane had somehow come completely apart in mid-air. I did not scream because I could not scream. “It’s Cool, I’m Good” (2010) Digital Video, Color, Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound.
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